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Dear Goddamned Dog

Dear Goddamned Dog

Author: Marjie

Goodbye, Dear Goddamned Beagle

April 26, 2023 Marjie Foster Dog, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Writing 23 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Seven years and ten days ago a bug-eyed raccoon x dog x cat x goat creature stared

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An Announcement of Worse Boredom

November 14, 2022 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Writing One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m sorry. What more can I say? Human lives are different than dogs’ lives in several ways.

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Hello Cutie Pie!

August 25, 2022 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, According to the internet, which is never wrong, dogs are able to perceive nearly twice as many

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It’s Been A While, Beagle

August 15, 2022 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Swiss Mountain Dog 14 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, It has been a while, I know. A very long while. There is a word in human,

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I Still Win, Beagle

August 8, 2020 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Swiss Mountain Dog 6 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I am not someone who enjoys Fritos. I should, I guess, as I like other salty, crunchy

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You’re Disgusting, Beagle

June 14, 2020 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Yesterday we had a very rare day off. I celebrated by starting off with an extra-long stationary

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Oh Really, Wendy?

April 24, 2020 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 7 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, We have been fogey-sitting now for days. Many days. Hundreds and hundreds of days. I move from

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Seeing Eye

December 31, 2019 Marjie Colleagues, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You’re aware, I assume, of the exploits and heroism of some of your colleagues. There are dogs

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First Things First

December 28, 2019 Marjie Colleagues, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Today we received a note from a couple of your colleagues asking for an update on your

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So It’s Come To This, Beagle

August 7, 2019 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have missed you. I have. I’ve been traveling too much, doing my part to contribute to

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Parental Controls

June 4, 2019 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have concerns. When we go to bed at night, me under my covers, you leaning against

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Tools of the Trade

May 18, 2019 Marjie Blue, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Once again I’ve delayed in catching up in our correspondence. This is mostly due to my untenable

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I’ve Been Remiss, Beagle

January 27, 2019 Marjie Blue, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 8 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You must forgive me. It’s been a very busy few months, and I simply haven’t had time

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Good Thing I’m a Professional

October 20, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 5 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I spend an inordinate amount of time on video conferences and on the phone. You might not

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Not So Fast on the Rebound

September 10, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This was your third Somerville Dog Festival with me; three September Sundays of riding around a fairground

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Change Is For Slot Machines

August 27, 2018 Marjie Blue, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Today is National Dog Day, so I feel I should try to clarify recent events out of

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This Is A Bad Idea, Beagle

August 20, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Uncategorized 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You’ve had some bad ideas in the past. Last night, for instance, when the Things and She

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I Knew You Looked Familiar

July 31, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I saw it immediately the day I met you. Well, immediately after I’d seen past the scabby,

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City Rabbits

July 28, 2018 Marjie Blue, Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Dog, Sure, you play a good game, but yesterday I saw what domestication has really accomplished for the

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Ciao, Beagle!

June 6, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, If I’ve learned anything in my roughly six decades, it’s that I never know what I’m going

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The Winter of Your Discontent

March 8, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, There are times when you are nothing short of Shakespearean in your misery. “It is enough,” you

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Canis Scientia

February 27, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Puppy Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Since your arrival here, you’ve had the privilege of working and living alongside world-class scientists. You’ve watched

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Two Years Gone

February 20, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Swiss Mountain Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Dog, It was two years today. Thing 2 came home from school after your pain became unendurable. We

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It’s Good You Can Finally Relax

February 16, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, All in all, you did a very good job of keeping it together. The last time we

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The Squirrel

February 1, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This was my afternoon. A knock on the front door. No one’s expected, and you’re being walked

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Loyal Like a Dog

January 16, 2018 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You have many talents I will admit. You can run, often with heavy appliances or tools in

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Horizontal For The Holidays

December 19, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This has not been the easiest week. Massive amounts of work, a difficult funeral and multiple social

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The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

November 22, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Last year, our first Thanksgiving together, I remember gazing with pride at the results of my professional

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Don’t Make Me Get the Razor Wire, Beagle

October 16, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, That you are a master of attention-seeking behavior is not in question. Since your arrival more than

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You’re Using That Wrong, Beagle

September 15, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, A few weeks ago you had very serious surgery. I was told to keep you quiet, and

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The Morning After

September 11, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You had a big day yesterday. It started at about 5:00 am, and by 5:00 pm you

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Towel Dry

September 4, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not gonna lie – you get pretty rank.  It’s mostly not your fault. In the interest

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Maybe a Little Dramatic, Beagle

September 2, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, OK, it’s cooler today. I’ll give you that. And yes, it’s been a rough few days, with

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Not Bad, For An Old Dog

August 24, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not sure why people say I haven’t taught you anything. In the year-or-so since we first

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You Had ONE Job, Beagle

August 18, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog, Swiss Mountain Dog 3 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I believe you’ve understood that we have a dozen-or-so behavior professionals staying with us here starting today

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Levity Pure

August 6, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I feel for you. I do. Yesterday you were just minding your own business, burritoed and cozy, curled

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Welcome to the Neighborhood, Blue

July 21, 2017 Marjie Blue, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Dog, There have been a lot of girl dogs in this house. You didn’t know them, but Emma,

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Don’t Judge, Beagle

July 8, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, While you might enjoy a natural fitness, keeping your tone by a strict regimen of sleeping, eating

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One Of THOSE Mornings

July 2, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog 4 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m writing this from my bed at half past midnight as you snore gently, burritoed beside me

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I Owe You One, Beagle

May 1, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I really owe you one this time. I was trying to be a good owner (we can

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Seasons Are For The Birds

April 25, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, My apologies. A mere few days ago you were in the hopeful throes of your first New

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While The Person’s Away…

April 24, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Marjie, The pet sitter has my couch blanket UPSTAIRS and is sitting with me next to the fireplace

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Tax Day

April 2, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You’re not helping. I know this is our first time together at tax season, but in the

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Missing

April 1, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m used to scanning my environment at all times these days in preparation for what you have

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Could She Have Eaten Anything?

March 16, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle,   Whatever you ate, it seems this time you’ve been bested. Far from your usual “one bad

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March Blizzard

March 14, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, We just received this text: Dear Beagle, It gets better. Love, Your Dogmother Good to know you’re

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What WAS That?

March 6, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog Leave a comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I saw it just as you did – some amorphous blob of putty-peanut butter-colored stuff tucked between

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Happy Birthday Beagz!

January 15, 2017 Marjie Goddamned Beagle, Goddamned Dog One comment

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Congratulations on turning seven today! While I suspect you may have turned seven at least once before,

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To Warm, Perchance To Reach

January 2, 2017 Marjie Uncategorized 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Winter is upon us, but this is your first time spending the season out of the Tennessee trailer

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Every Girl Has Her Limits

December 30, 2016 Marjie Uncategorized 2 comments

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Since your arrival you have experienced many things. You have met and welcomed myriad strangers into various

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Recent Posts

  • Goodbye, Dear Goddamned Beagle
  • An Announcement of Worse Boredom
  • Hello Cutie Pie!
  • It’s Been A While, Beagle
  • I Still Win, Beagle
  • You’re Disgusting, Beagle
  • Oh Really, Wendy?
  • Seeing Eye
  • First Things First
  • So It’s Come To This, Beagle
  • Parental Controls
  • Tools of the Trade
  • I’ve Been Remiss, Beagle
  • Good Thing I’m a Professional
  • Not So Fast on the Rebound
  • Change Is For Slot Machines
  • This Is A Bad Idea, Beagle
  • I Knew You Looked Familiar
  • City Rabbits
  • Ciao, Beagle!
  • The Winter of Your Discontent
  • Canis Scientia
  • Two Years Gone
  • It’s Good You Can Finally Relax
  • The Squirrel
  • Loyal Like a Dog
  • Horizontal For The Holidays
  • The Most Wonderful Day of the Year
  • Don’t Make Me Get the Razor Wire, Beagle
  • You’re Using That Wrong, Beagle
  • The Morning After
  • Towel Dry
  • Maybe a Little Dramatic, Beagle
  • Not Bad, For An Old Dog
  • You Had ONE Job, Beagle
  • Levity Pure
  • Welcome to the Neighborhood, Blue
  • Don’t Judge, Beagle
  • One Of THOSE Mornings
  • I Owe You One, Beagle
  • Seasons Are For The Birds
  • While The Person’s Away…
  • Tax Day
  • Missing
  • Could She Have Eaten Anything?
  • March Blizzard
  • What WAS That?
  • Happy Birthday Beagz!
  • To Warm, Perchance To Reach
  • Every Girl Has Her Limits
  • Unacceptable Changes Around Here
  • Pre- The Holidays
  • Beagle Therapy
  • Howloween
  • We Have Always Been The Caretakers
  • Bored
  • Maid of Honor
  • P. A. T.
  • Dining Al Fresco
  • Fancy Footwear
  • Winter Is Coming
  • Playing The Big Leagues
  • Burrito
  • Fries Frenzy
  • Office Nap
  • Bones Do Rain From The Sky
  • Slightly Under The Weather
  • Actual Training
  • Just A Bad Day I Guess
  • A Bird In The Hand
  • Pandora’s Beagle
  • Plates
  • Welcome To The Family, Beagz
  • Remorse
  • Leave It
  • Rain Averse
  • Goodbye, Addie
  • Boofing to be Heard
  • Rain And Christmas Cookies
  • Begging
  • I Must Be A Little Thick
  • Festival Clean Up
  • One More Hill To Climb
  • Body Language
  • Training A Thing
  • Crunching
  • Shredding
  • Thanksgiving Menu
  • Leftovers
  • Birthday Cheer
  • Hedgehog Hinting
  • Private Bathroom Requirements
  • Ocean Recall
  • Covers
  • Trying To Cut Back

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  • Dana on Goodbye, Addie
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