Dear Goddamned Dog

An Announcement of Worse Boredom

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m sorry. What more can I say? Human lives are different than dogs’ lives in several ways.

Dear Goddamned Beagle, According to the internet, which is never wrong, dogs are able to perceive nearly twice as many

Dear Goddamned Beagle, It has been a while, I know. A very long while. There is a word in human,

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I am not someone who enjoys Fritos. I should, I guess, as I like other salty, crunchy

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Yesterday we had a very rare day off. I celebrated by starting off with an extra-long stationary

Dear Goddamned Beagle, We have been fogey-sitting now for days. Many days. Hundreds and hundreds of days. I move from

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You’re aware, I assume, of the exploits and heroism of some of your colleagues. There are dogs

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Today we received a note from a couple of your colleagues asking for an update on your

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have missed you. I have. I’ve been traveling too much, doing my part to contribute to

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have concerns. When we go to bed at night, me under my covers, you leaning against