Category: Goddamned Dog

Dear Goddamned Beagle, According to the internet, which is never wrong, dogs are able to perceive nearly twice as many

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Yesterday we had a very rare day off. I celebrated by starting off with an extra-long stationary

Dear Goddamned Beagle, We have been fogey-sitting now for days. Many days. Hundreds and hundreds of days. I move from

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have missed you. I have. I’ve been traveling too much, doing my part to contribute to

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I have concerns. When we go to bed at night, me under my covers, you leaning against

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I spend an inordinate amount of time on video conferences and on the phone. You might not

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This was your third Somerville Dog Festival with me; three September Sundays of riding around a fairground

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I saw it immediately the day I met you. Well, immediately after I’d seen past the scabby,

Dear Goddamned Beagle, If I’ve learned anything in my roughly six decades, it’s that I never know what I’m going

Dear Goddamned Beagle, There are times when you are nothing short of Shakespearean in your misery. “It is enough,” you

Dear Goddamned Beagle, All in all, you did a very good job of keeping it together. The last time we

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This was my afternoon. A knock on the front door. No one’s expected, and you’re being walked

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You have many talents I will admit. You can run, often with heavy appliances or tools in

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This has not been the easiest week. Massive amounts of work, a difficult funeral and multiple social

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Last year, our first Thanksgiving together, I remember gazing with pride at the results of my professional

Dear Goddamned Beagle, That you are a master of attention-seeking behavior is not in question. Since your arrival more than

Dear Goddamned Beagle, A few weeks ago you had very serious surgery. I was told to keep you quiet, and

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You had a big day yesterday. It started at about 5:00 am, and by 5:00 pm you

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not gonna lie – you get pretty rank.  It’s mostly not your fault. In the interest

Dear Goddamned Beagle, OK, it’s cooler today. I’ll give you that. And yes, it’s been a rough few days, with

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not sure why people say I haven’t taught you anything. In the year-or-so since we first

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I feel for you. I do. Yesterday you were just minding your own business, burritoed and cozy, curled

Dear Goddamned Beagle, While you might enjoy a natural fitness, keeping your tone by a strict regimen of sleeping, eating

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m writing this from my bed at half past midnight as you snore gently, burritoed beside me

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I really owe you one this time. I was trying to be a good owner (we can

Dear Goddamned Beagle, My apologies. A mere few days ago you were in the hopeful throes of your first New

Dear Goddamned Marjie, The pet sitter has my couch blanket UPSTAIRS and is sitting with me next to the fireplace

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You’re not helping. I know this is our first time together at tax season, but in the

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m used to scanning my environment at all times these days in preparation for what you have

Dear Goddamned Beagle,   Whatever you ate, it seems this time you’ve been bested. Far from your usual “one bad

Dear Goddamned Beagle, We just received this text: Dear Beagle, It gets better. Love, Your Dogmother Good to know you’re

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I saw it just as you did – some amorphous blob of putty-peanut butter-colored stuff tucked between

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Congratulations on turning seven today! While I suspect you may have turned seven at least once before,

Dear Goddamned Beagle, First, let me say that I agree with your opinion about recent changes around here. I don’t

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not gonna lie – it’s been a tough couple of weeks. More than a couple, really,