Actual Training

Dear Goddamned Beagle,

You pull like a freight train. You steal people’s lunches. You regularly have to be removed from tables.

That said, you deserve credit where credit is due. Despite what can only be called “no training at all” on my part, you will now wait multiple seconds before helping¬†yourself to¬†your food in the morning.

Not before taking other people’s food, but before going for your own.

I also accept “stay” as defined as “don’t hurl at food in whatever position works for me at the moment.” We have no need for rigid criteria around here.

Congratulations, Beagz. That’s probably a gold medal in the Beagle Olympics.


Your Person


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