Category: Swiss Mountain Dog

Dear Goddamned Dog,

I’m writing now as I will from now on, to the empty corners of every room, to the dozen years past, to the millions of things and places that will forever remind me of you.

Dear Goddamned Dog,

I am very sorry you don’t feel well. This much at least is clear.

Dear Goddamned Dog,

We have to talk about rain. And Christmas cookies, but rain first.

Dear Goddamned Dog,

I apologize for not understanding.

Dear Goddamned Dog,

Dozens of 10′ tents; hundreds of pounds of gear and paper goods

The first time I saw Addie in person she was nine weeks old and shrieking to get out of the

Dear Goddamned Dog,

Your brilliance is always lurking, but today I watched you train your Thing.

Dear Goddamned Dog, While I appreciate your sudden bent toward tidiness, your new habit of finding pieces of ice melt

Dear Goddamned Dog,

This weather is not my fault. Not the wind, not the cold, not the hooded men with machines, not the salt on the walkways.

Dear Goddamned Dog, This computer provides the employment that pays for your organic unicorn meat and bluebonnet petal food, your

Dear Goddamned Dog, You are Swiss. This means you like snow. Alps. Cheese. Cuckoo clocks. Really even grass trimmed with

I’d like to talk to you about covers and beds. You see, you have fur, which automatically makes you warm, and therefore technically able to sleep without covers.