Dear Goddamned Beagle,
I, too, tilt my head at the person who would say she wanted you, pursue you avidly, and then change her mind at the last minute on you, her third beagle, claiming, “I’m just not sure I want a dog who howls.”
Also, let me tell you, it’s one thing to not want to say goodbye to a Beagle friend, quite another to decide to keep her, but that’s what we shall do.
Welcome to the family, Nellie Beagle Alonso. I’m sure I will regret it constantly.
Love,
Your Person