Current Author: Marjie

Once a child who couldn’t resist “borrowing” the neighborhood dogs, Marjie Alonso grew up to make her passion her profession. She spent decades as a dog trainer, behavior consultant, and executive director of animal behavior nonprofits. Over the years she shared her life with Emma, an American Eskimo, Betty and Addie, a pair of Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs, Nellie, her first beagle, and now Alice, along with countless foster dogs. A devoted parent and storyteller, Marjie writes with humor and heart about the joy, mischief, and everyday conversations that make life with dogs so deeply meaningful.

 

Marjie has just completed a memoir about taking her sons to meet their biological mothers in Paraguay and a reckoning about adoption. She writes essays for publication, and has a weekly Substack.

Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Slightly Under The Weather

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I'm very sorry you're under the weather. No fun to have nasty things happening at all ends, and it's clear you feel lousy.
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Actual Training

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You pull like a freight train. You steal people's lunches. You regularly have to be removed from tables.
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Just A Bad Day I Guess

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I don't know what's up with you today. Perhaps it's the weather, maybe the impending trip, maybe the lack of available Things to ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

A Bird In The Hand

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Feet and heads are normally separated by a body. This is an important part of anatomy, and one that, frankly, I'm used to.
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Pandora’s Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I do understand that until recently no one had thought to teach your brilliant mind about things like higher learning. Or sit. Or ...
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Foster DogGoddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Plates

Dear Goddamned Beagle, About plates. Plates are for people. In particular, plates next to where I sit are for me. This is important to note as ...
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Foster DogGoddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Welcome To The Family, Beagz

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I, too, tilt my head at the person who would say she wanted you, pursue you avidly, and then change her mind at ...
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Foster DogGoddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Remorse

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Re·morse ( rəˈmôrs/ noun ) Deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed. I realize this is not a concept familiar to your ...
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Foster DogGoddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Leave It

Dear Goddamned Beagle, "Leave it" is, I understand, both a concept and a command you're unfamiliar with.
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Rain Averse

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You routinely try to catch, and possibly kill things with your mouth.
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