Once a child who couldn’t resist “borrowing” the neighborhood dogs, Marjie Alonso grew up to make her passion her profession. She spent decades as a dog trainer, behavior consultant, and executive director of animal behavior nonprofits. Over the years she shared her life with Emma, an American Eskimo, Betty and Addie, a pair of Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs, Nellie, her first beagle, and now Alice, along with countless foster dogs. A devoted parent and storyteller, Marjie writes with humor and heart about the joy, mischief, and everyday conversations that make life with dogs so deeply meaningful.

 

Marjie has just completed a memoir about taking her sons to meet their biological mothers in Paraguay and a reckoning about adoption. She writes essays for publication, and has a weekly Substack.

Browse Every Goddamned Article I've Ever Published

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Goddamned DogSwiss Mountain Dog

Hedgehog Hinting

Dear Goddamned Dog, This computer provides the employment that pays for your organic unicorn meat and bluebonnet petal food, your gear, your toys and your not-insubstantial ...
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Goddamned DogSwiss Mountain Dog

Private Bathroom Requirements

Dear Goddamned Dog, You are Swiss. This means you like snow. Alps. Cheese. Cuckoo clocks. Really even grass trimmed with hand scissors. Edelweiss. That means that ...
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Goddamned DogPuppySwiss Mountain Dog

Ocean Recall

 Dear Goddamned Dog, I do understand that the ocean took you by surprise, but trust me, you will recover. I’d like to remind you that it ...
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Goddamned DogSwiss Mountain Dog

Covers

I’d like to talk to you about covers and beds. You see, you have fur, which automatically makes you warm, and therefore technically able to sleep ...
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Goddamned DogPuppySwiss Mountain Dog

Trying To Cut Back

Dear Goddamned Dog, I've just had to explain to your veterinarian that you don't smoke.
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