Current Author: Marjie

Once a child who couldn’t resist “borrowing” the neighborhood dogs, Marjie Alonso grew up to make her passion her profession. She spent decades as a dog trainer, behavior consultant, and executive director of animal behavior nonprofits. Over the years she shared her life with Emma, an American Eskimo, Betty and Addie, a pair of Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs, Nellie, her first beagle, and now Alice, along with countless foster dogs. A devoted parent and storyteller, Marjie writes with humor and heart about the joy, mischief, and everyday conversations that make life with dogs so deeply meaningful.

 

Marjie has just completed a memoir about taking her sons to meet their biological mothers in Paraguay and a reckoning about adoption. She writes essays for publication, and has a weekly Substack.

Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Horizontal For The Holidays

Dear Goddamned Beagle, This has not been the easiest week. Massive amounts of work, a difficult funeral and multiple social engagements added a lot of pressure ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

Dear Goddamned Beagle, Last year, our first Thanksgiving together, I remember gazing with pride at the results of my professional expertise and environmental set-up for success. ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Don’t Make Me Get the Razor Wire, Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, That you are a master of attention-seeking behavior is not in question. Since your arrival more than a year ago, few phone calls, ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

You’re Using That Wrong, Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, A few weeks ago you had very serious surgery. I was told to keep you quiet, and to prevent you from jumping and ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

The Morning After

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You had a big day yesterday. It started at about 5:00 am, and by 5:00 pm you had greeted most of our 3,500 ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Towel Dry

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I'm not gonna lie - you get pretty rank.  It's mostly not your fault. In the interest of learning more about your kind, ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Maybe a Little Dramatic, Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, OK, it's cooler today. I'll give you that. And yes, it's been a rough few days, with far too many projects and work ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Not Bad, For An Old Dog

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I'm not sure why people say I haven't taught you anything. In the year-or-so since we first met, you've learned a lot. You ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned DogSwiss Mountain Dog

You Had ONE Job, Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I believe you've understood that we have a dozen-or-so behavior professionals staying with us here starting today and through the weekend for a ...
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Goddamned BeagleGoddamned Dog

Levity Pure

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I feel for you. I do. Yesterday you were just minding your own business, burritoed and cozy, curled under the red blanket I stole from ...
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