Dear Goddamned Dog, This computer provides the employment that pays for your organic unicorn meat and bluebonnet petal food, your
Private Bathroom Requirements
Dear Goddamned Dog, You are Swiss. This means you like snow. Alps. Cheese. Cuckoo clocks. Really even grass trimmed with
Ocean Recall
Dear Goddamned Dog, I do understand that the ocean took you by surprise, but trust me, you will recover. I’d
Covers
I’d like to talk to you about covers and beds. You see, you have fur, which automatically makes you warm, and therefore technically able to sleep without covers.
Trying To Cut Back
Dear Goddamned Dog,
I’ve just had to explain to your veterinarian that you don’t smoke.