Dear Goddamned Beagle, Some weeks ago we received a letter in a small green envelope. Written on the outside was,
Dear Goddamned Beagle, As part of your life with me there are some things you’ll have to accept. I travel
Dear Goddamned Beagle, It was going pretty well until you tried to steal the cheese platter. To be fair, your
Dear Goddamned Beagle, In my field we have lots of acronyms. Acronyms are letters that, when put together, relieve a
Dear Goddamned Beagle, I believe congratulations are in order as today you experienced outdoor, seaside dining for the first time.
Dear Goddamned Beagle, Really? You are an adult dog. Though it’s true that your actions often belie your age, your days
Dear Goddamned Dog, Fifty-six. It is fifty-six degrees out, and you’re shivering hard enough to shake this computer as you
Dear Goddamned Puppy,
It is true that the world loves you, and that everyone thinks you’re cute.
Well, almost everyone.
Dear Goddamned Beagle,
Normally I wouldn’t say self control is your strong suit. You leap, you chase, you steal, you’re busy beagling 24/7, making your opinions and desires known to all.
I’m just going to come out and say it: You were horrible last night. There’s really no point in denying it, Beagle. You were incessant and annoying, and frankly disruptive.