Dear Goddamned Beagle,
Today we received a note from a couple of your colleagues asking for an update on your status. I must admit I’ve been meaning to write, but I’ve been very busy since… OK, August. Whatever. But so busy.
Before diving into other dispatches I thought I’d provide a quick update regarding your current status. After all, no matter how busy one is, it’s still important to be responsible. Luckily I’ve kept a pictorial record of all your goings-on.
As anyone can see, you’ve been working hard. Appropriate blanket-layering, temperature regulation (an important health issue as well as your art form), and, when necessary, stern conversation letting me know about inadequate or even missing covering can take a lot out of you. No beagle wants to have to resort to both-ears-back communication, but facts are facts and some things you just can’t let slide.
This tragic photo shows how Bella and Pacer are barely hanging on without word from you. Their strong familial bond and exemplary breeding and upbringing are clear in their gracious note, kind despite their dismay at my unforgivable lack of reporting.
We have much to report on in the next weeks. After all, Thanksgiving, Christmas, work trips and squirrel season have all taken place since I last wrote, and the New Year is right around the corner.
No feckless blogger can do justice to your important work. I’ll strive to do better.