Dear Goddamned Beagle,
About plates. Plates are for people. In particular, plates next to where I sit are for me. This is important to note as I’m currently the human saving your ghastly ass from the glue factory, so you might want to try and remember it.
On a side note, props to you for licking all of the salad dressing off of the lettuce and vegetables without disturbing much of anything and before I got back from getting my computer, and props to me for noticing before I took that first bite.
Your Foster Person