Dear Goddamned Beagle,
Re·morse ( rəˈmôrs/ noun )
Deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed.
I realize this is not a concept familiar to your Beagley kind, so it’s not completely your fault. I’m just suggesting that, when caught standing on my desk – ON MY DESK – with a bag of treats in your mouth, you at least try to seem sorry.
Looking at me, shaking the bag as hard as you can, hurling it toward me and then standing there with a huge smile on your face in no way suggests my work space is safe from further forays.
Then jumping from desk, to file cabinet, to window seat, to the floor, to me expecting me to open the bag for you seems a bit much to ask.
Your Foster Person