Leave It

Dear Goddamned Beagle,

“Leave it” is, I understand, both a concept and a command you’re unfamiliar with.

(By the way, around here we frown on “command” and prefer “cue,” as “command,” when ignored, makes us appear to flail, while a non-complied-with “cue,” we tell ourselves, is an incomplete learning objective, and there’s totally a book, blog or seminar for that.)

Further, I fully appreciate your commitment to your craft; seeking and acquiring goodies is more than a skill with you, it’s an art form.

I do wonder, however, if perhaps you’ve got an undiagnosed case of ASHD (Attention Surplus Hyperactivity Disorder), as you’re likely to strain your neck and eject an eyeball if you keep staring at people that way while they eat.

Just a thought.

Love,

Your Foster Person

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