Dear Goddamned Dog

You’re Using That Wrong, Beagle

Dear Goddamned Beagle, A few weeks ago you had very serious surgery. I was told to keep you quiet, and

Dear Goddamned Beagle, You had a big day yesterday. It started at about 5:00 am, and by 5:00 pm you

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not gonna lie – you get pretty rank. It’s mostly not your fault. In the interest

Dear Goddamned Beagle, OK, it’s cooler today. I’ll give you that. And yes, it’s been a rough few days, with

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m not sure why people say I haven’t taught you anything. In the year-or-so since we first

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I believe you’ve understood that we have a dozen-or-so behavior professionals staying with us here starting today

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I feel for you. I do. Yesterday you were just minding your own business, burritoed and cozy, curled

Dear Goddamned Dog, There have been a lot of girl dogs in this house. You didn’t know them, but Emma,

Dear Goddamned Beagle, While you might enjoy a natural fitness, keeping your tone by a strict regimen of sleeping, eating

Dear Goddamned Beagle, I’m writing this from my bed at half past midnight as you snore gently, burritoed beside me